scrambled thoughts.

So I'm thinking the world could crash down any minute & i would be eating a peanut butter sandwich and listening to Amos Lee.
I'm thinking i could lose a lot, but I'm also thinking i could give things a chance.

Over exaggerated semi- fabricated stories,
did you know people make myths so they're not forgotten?
You're only remembered if you're the first, last, greatest, most evil.
But what i don't understand is why being remembered through through an empirical view of history is at the height of self importance.
I don't think any of us want to settle for mediocrity...but people settle because its easy.



---
So I'm thinking math really sucks & i should go study right now.




-----

just like eggs on a plate..

Wants & Needs Change Constantly.

I want to see this film! :





& I'd really love to have:
Exhibit A, Marc Jacobs sweater
Exibit B, Vera Wang's Rock Princess ( I was under the allusion that the only kind retailing was the sugary pink one littering Julia's binder)

Sleep+Math= Dreaming of Studying

If you're me you dislike sport. If you're me you're indecisive and easily influenced, so most decisions are the products of impulse.
This can be summed up in the equation:
antisport + indecision= finding yourself playing table tennis for another term!

So i'm thinking i'm really tired & do not want to continue studying the recently learnt and hitherto non existent Trig Identities.
I overslept...immersed in this dream-esque universe i found myself studying for my math exam.
I can't remember what Freud & Jung think about dreams, but i hope i will actually study when i leave my internet self & transcend to math mode.

You know what's weird? It's like at school you see someone for the first time even though it's been like seven months of continious interaction.
What's also weird is that i'm changing my bank account, i feel independent.
I can't wait for Thursday :)

Colour

Spent thirty minutes changing my blog layout.
Listening to Ottoman- Vampire Weekend.
First week back, last term of Year 11.
Doing chemistry assignment.
Making play lists.
Thinking.

Beverly is a crap conversationalist.
Danielle observed that he was smiling and ruffling his sweater sleeves.
That time he knew i remembered & didn't say anything,
I wonder,
a lot.
About things.
I'm a complete ditz, i can make people laugh.
Like this.
B: So are you on your break? (stutters a bit)
B: Yeah 30 Minutes, not much.
B: Okay. (FULL STOP)


I'm over analytical & will now assume that YBWM was playing for no specific reason.


God i wish things were different

After Hours

You're So In Love
That You Act Insane?

<3

yest day:
@ work all the registers were down, so it was very cafe-esque, i had to take orders down with a piece of paper & a pen and then calculate everything using a calculator, which was cool, because i could do the subtraction and addition in my head & the 10% discounts for most of them.
It was maximizing my math skills, because of all the pressure! ahaha which i totally needed.

today:
went to westfields and shopped around,
saw Jeremy piggy back riding his little cousin in front of his house, i thought that was heaps sweet because most teenage boys would not do that. Plus on the outside he's all really emo-skater, & you can't take people face value.
Kudos.
frolicked @ the oval, well i guess i jogged for a bit, but i wish i had brought my bike instead.

tomorrow:
i think that i'll have to catch the bus to work and back home,
thinking about it kills,
but i will do it anyways because independence can rock.




now off to study for math & waiting for Sunday :)

Alto cumulus,
Very pretty
Very high.
Fluffy & perfected, just the way you like it.
Cotton candy,
pink,
rainbow
take your pick.
You know all you need are a few good friends.

I sat under the sun & wondered how winter could get this warm.
I could finish Anna Karenina, my math homework? & finish several of my short stories....but i feel like typing & just listening to The Postal Service & Anberlin.
Anberlin & The Academy is, will be @ Roundhouse on the 28th of August, tickets for $70-$80? . I could potentially miss it, but i don't think i would be too fussed. I mean i hope not, I had already missed Anberlin at Soundwave, but whatever- I mean it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Reading my stack of University books and what not. Which i had uncannily put under my collage (project #1, Week 1) of quotes by my favourite poets, writer's, geniuses...etc.
Order of preferences: The University of Sydney, Australian National University ( All the way in goddamn Canberra), UNSW, UTS, Macquarie University....
I stacked my books in this order, thinking about these things keeps me focused. Which i'll have to do if i want, my ATAR/UAI (not letting it go) of 98.45.

Besides focusing, i've been writing, wrote a bit that had been inspired by Oscar Wilde's Madonna Mia, i really liked the poem, just for what it is. I haven't read any critical readings on it but i just love the language, so i was inspired to write a short story (incomplete)
& i'm writing another one, which is (Project 2)
But now i feel like writing my unfinished - can i call it a novel idea?- of May last year.
Bummer, but i think if i do go back to it- i'll topple with ideas and planning- which i'm scared of. It would mean pouring effort into one thing? which would mean, i would have to believe in what i'm writing, and it's sad to say that i'm not sure.




Will get my iPod on Thursday & Everything In Transit.
Thinking of updating my bookshelf & also finishing 30 Rock.

mulled things over in my sleep.
let
it
shine.

Open windows,
The fields & the skies mirror your dreams.
They glow when you speak of the mundane, to the mundane,
they sparkle and illuminate
& take sole residence within the confines of you.
Stifle a yawn because
An 'I don't care about you, I'm only good for talking about me' is easily masked
With...
Nothing,
It isn't masked
It's there & I can see it.
I'm sorry but transparency is only good for seeing through.

I am frustrated.
& in my attempt to rant i've come to the conclusion that I'll be too explicit.

My Life Would Suck Without Me

I had work at 10am, and finished work at 5pm, nothing eventful happened, except on my break i had to eat five mentos' to get to the pink one.
And i browsed the books selling at Big W.
I think that's all.

Harry Potter ;)

The Half Blood Prince was splendid :)
Albeit...the ending! I was a bit disappointed - owing to the fact that the supposed 'climax' was a let down, like a strand of thread with a frayed end.
Cormac was quite good looking & he was supposed to be bulky! Guess you can't really complain.

I'm going to continue writing
Good bye.

Hello There, How Are You Doing?

I want to know where Cambium is, he has suddenly disappeared. I was at home alone today & i was considering going for a walk ( Which i did @ 8am in the morning) but i wanted to walk with Cambium.
I think i'm a real bad friend sometimes.

--------
“Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.”
— Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Gotta Love Harry

"Well what Harry said is the most useful if we're trying to tell them apart! said Ron.When we come face to face with one down a dark alley we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, "Excuse me are you the imprint of a departed soul?"- Ron Weasley
(Page 431- HBP)

I was in bed and i laughed for five minutes.
Can't wait for tomorrowwwww!!

Bits & Pieces

I have work tonight, Danielle has gone to Queensland for a bit so i've agreed to take her Monday shift.
But right now i'm just feeling all disheveled, physically(i've just woken up) and semi emotionally.
It's just that, the side i try to hide is always revealed, the pathetic part of me.
It makes me so angry.
---

I wrote quite a bit last night.
& i also dreamed of math last night,
Sketching regions & boundaries.
I think i'm losing it.

This song means a lot to me- Surfaced- The Dangerous Summer


my mind jumps a lot. hence this blog, i think i'm thinking aloud.

I want this!

Needless to say, i've never been the kind of girl who's been into dressing up,
i live in my ZY jeans and vans.
But i think it's time for change.
Shopping at Newtown on Tuesday, perhaps?
Then i can go to Elizabeth's book store, and pick up second hand books ( Will i really? I can't stand old books. Ron Weasley: "...looks like someone's vomited on it by the looks of page 52"

Harry Potter on Wednesday :)

Nothing Personal

I'm committing myself to math these holidays.
I will go shopping for clothes instead of books.
Something has instigated change....
no more distractions.
I will do it right this time.

This week's non existent compilation CD/MIX TAPE ( i really want a mixtape!)
1. Haight Street- Anberlin
2. Be My Escape- Relient K
3. Fearless- Taylor Swift
4. Walls- All Time Low. (I'm gonna break down these walls & fall in love with you and no one else!) (insert love heart! right?)


The amount of math homework i have could suffocate me.
It could engulf theee with numbers. (Real, undefined & infinite)

The lack of motivation i have for writing this creative story stems from fear- i will dedicate way too much time to it. Give me an idea and i will not stop writing.

This layout is really sucking, syntax.
I have a penchant for for prolonged lols.
Like this: looooooool

Good bye,
embracing my immaturity.