i don't even know why i am posting this. i guess its about time

I never really liked the songs you recommended me.
Now that i look back on it, i was stupid . Stupid for thinking we could be really good friends.
And i'm completely over it. Just one final blog, not that you'll ever read it. Not that you even care. I'm just saying you look like a fool. If you beg to differ, i'll cut you some slack, you just act like one. You think you're too cool, too cool to talk to me.
Yeah, cos i'm way down the social ladder, and you're right up the top, right?
ahh yeah definitely.
my sarcasm always sucks.


I think i've made it plainly obvious. You're just too oblivious to realise, or perhaps too apathetic. Whatever.
There's so much hatred? No, dislike/annoyance/anger.
I don't even know why!
Maybe its because you think i wouldn't be hurt.
You think that you could just go on talking, talking about her to my face, and not think i'd care.
I don't now.
But i felt really chosen over.
Don't you get it?
It really hurts.
When you're apparently not good enough. Not even when you want to, or try to.
I didn't even want that.
I look at her, and then me.
What is it, am i weird? not pretty enough? just completely fucked up because i'm fucking different to all the other girls? because i read a lot? because i fucking like shit other girls don't like?
its you thats not good enough.
i fucking sound like i'm up myself.
but i deserved fucking better.
-some guy knew the definitions to the words i used.


Fine.
And this is the last post.
because i am totally over it.
There are a million boys.
better than you.


i'm such a fool.
sometimes i fucking hate myself.
its not like anything happened between us. nothing. and for that im fucking glad, ( you freaking bore the shit out of me, and i feigned interest)
its just complete disgust at myself, for the way i acted, the way i thought you liked me back.
you were so good at pretending.
bet you like knowing it, boosts the self esteem right?

i'll stop now