just admit it

some days just really suck.
days just have a way of sucking i guess.
its their thing.

maybe its me, maybe its my perception.
but i can't really say.
i reread the above, and i'm adamant that it is my perception. but how can i change it? how can i change it when the people around me are so thoroughly pissed at life? i know we can't all be happy all the time.
i want to be happy.
but some people, they just have a way of putting me down. when i'm happy they make me feel guilty. and thats the shittest thing someone can do. but i love these people.
and at times i feel like they just pretend to love me back.
have you ever had those days, where you want to runaway?
or those days you wish you were some place else?
some days i just have the strongest urges to get on a plane and live like a recluse.
i know right, its pathetic, and i'm pathetic. we're all pathetic sometimes. maybe me more than anyone else.
next year after the HSC i really want to travel the world. or maybe during Uni, i could do exchange. during that time i want to finish all the half written stories.
i want to feel like i've acomplished something.

_______________________________
things have really changed
i really do feel like a different person.
_______________________________

i don't have a sock drawer by the way-
just wanted to put it out there.
i do have a physical sock drawer but i don't use it.
is that weird?
aren't sock drawers an integral part of life?

also this girl at school she's my friend, anyways she asked about my hair.
questions like:
"where you meant to get it all one length?"
and she kept like freaking analsying it, and going "oh oh"
like if you think it looks shit say it to my face.
i don't give a shit , just cause my hair isn't in layers
and just cause you think it looks like shit.
well i have news for you
your opinion doesn't count.

anyways i have to draw pictures for alex.
i drew cute girrafes+pigs+sheep looking things so jimmy could put it in his folder.
and i promised alex i'd draw some for him, but the thing is i haven't yet and its been about a week now.
i never get the chance in religion anymore, because the teacher starts walking around the classroom.
and alex wants one of each animal that noah put in his ark!

i'm off

beverly is listening to: Represent- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.