This is how it is for me.

So there's this kid, right. He enters the bus and shakes your hand.
You think it odd, you think it classic.
He then sits on the vacant seat adjacent to you. He smiles, not a crooked smile, just a smile.
You've never ever seen him in your whole life.
He sings you a song you've never heard before.
You think it funny.
You think you're in love.
But all the other kids on the bus, think he's a mess. A hot mess.

So the next day, you're sitting at the back of the bus.
You know he's the new kid, you've been acquainted with his attitude and his idiosyncrasies.
It's only been a day, so you're thinking maybe those black jeans will fade & he'll conveniently slip into a pair of something, anything more fitting.
You're into neat kind of guys. The one's that are always reading. The one's that wear glasses, bespectacled eyes that make you melt. Anyways you're the weird kid, don't questions this,
And right now you're thinking he will change

But he doesn't see you that day. He sees someone else, shakes her hand, smiles at her, sings her a song she does not know.
You think it strange.

You cry.
Later your big sister tells you, you're much much prettier and much much more intelligent.
& Later you realise he wasn't that different at all. And you're still the same....still waiting for someone to notice.


But remember:
You're the kind of kid that romanticizes the idea of being in a relationship.
Late night phone calls
mix tapes
driving till you feel like you're infinitely bound to no one else but him.

& he's the kind of guy, that just isn't (wasn't) in to you.

I said that kind of honesty exists only in the movies, and you've got to give people time.
But that isn't the truth.
It's uncertainty, hurdles in the form of uncertainty.

So please
please
please
do me favour and admit that you are just a passing fashion
& you're crossing the threshold right now & not because I told you to
but because you're certain that you're uncertain.



Maybe then when you're suspended in that state of confusion,
I'll admit to you
that
I
don't
really
want
you
to
leave
me.