I cannot believe it's HSC year.
Time has flown
2005,2006,2007,2008
4 years
A messy blur
2009 then 2010.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
27/10/09
I feel so out of it.
It’s hard to laugh
Easy to cry
Hard to stop
Hard to suppress
There are many things I look forward to.
None of them too soon
Sometimes I feel like starting university, is like starting over again.
I mean-you can be a different person, or at least a changed person.
There’s no expectation for you to be quiet or loud or funny
Just the real you
And sometimes I find that I am not really me
Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone
People are there but there’s nothing connecting me to them
Just
Severed ties
I’m not interesting, just odd
I’m not funny, just stilly
I talk and it’s like no one listens
So I think and listen to myself
I mull things over in my head.
I don’t voice them out loud because no one really cares and I don’t want them to pretend they do.
I think about things
Most of the time I think about being somewhere else
And the kind of hope I rely on is the idea that there’s someone else there that’s like me.
That in this vast landscape I’m not the only tree with blue leaves.
I don’t quite understand
It’s hard to laugh
Easy to cry
Hard to stop
Hard to suppress
There are many things I look forward to.
None of them too soon
Sometimes I feel like starting university, is like starting over again.
I mean-you can be a different person, or at least a changed person.
There’s no expectation for you to be quiet or loud or funny
Just the real you
And sometimes I find that I am not really me
Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone
People are there but there’s nothing connecting me to them
Just
Severed ties
I’m not interesting, just odd
I’m not funny, just stilly
I talk and it’s like no one listens
So I think and listen to myself
I mull things over in my head.
I don’t voice them out loud because no one really cares and I don’t want them to pretend they do.
I think about things
Most of the time I think about being somewhere else
And the kind of hope I rely on is the idea that there’s someone else there that’s like me.
That in this vast landscape I’m not the only tree with blue leaves.
I don’t quite understand
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Salvatore and his jacket. I want it for keeps.
I’ve just finishing eating lunch with my parents and little sister. It’s funny because the topic of conversation was not all that trivial. It was very relevant.
This is kind of how it went. I was eating, well staring at the salmon on my plate and listing in my head the pros and cons of ring bound books- when my thoughts kind of strayed from this two week- ring bound vs. Binder- battle, to the importance of being mentally ready for next term’s challenges.
The significance of year 12 has obviously registered (long ago and now more than ever), and whilst I was sitting beneath the basketball ring outside and reading The Fellowship Of The Ring it became apparent to me that I have already attained the required mindset. At least I think so.
So okay, at the table my thoughts were immediately disrupted by my dad’s abrupt mentioning of the word ‘boyfriend’. It just caught me off guard, because this word- foreign as it is to me, was coincidentally in my head. I never thought it necessary to have one and I was thinking that what if during the year I got distracted and strayed from the neat path I have laid out for myself (A 12 something years of hard labour. Hahaha not really It wasn’t very hard at all ) and ruined everything.
I had this year went through many odd phases of wishing I had someone. As you do as a sixteen year old (proof that I am in fact a juvenile, not some mature 40 year old stuck in the netherworld-esque body of a 16 year old)
So yes, I was making sure that the no boyfriend rule is still there, somewhere floating in my head.
And yeah my dad mentioned it. I didn’t say anything but I couldn’t help but laugh. I was near laughter for many reasons.
1.I am often underestimated. My dad thinks that my priorities aren’t very clear, when they are in fact very clear to me.
2.They often over estimate my ability to actually acquire an aforementioned boyfriend. No one has ever asked me out, and my dad finds this rather odd and fancies this as a lie.
3.When my dad conjured this topic of conversation he was looking directly at me, my little sister was giggling and my mum conspicuously said ‘why are you only looking at Beverly’. And then she smiled. This exchange made me smile, because I have this odd feeling my little sister thinks she’s on to something.
I’m bored now. Can not continue.
Okay so I shall now do my extension 2 pre-proposal, begin research on trench warfare, but really go to Office Works and purchase books. Still undecided. The battle lives.
Here's an odd little this I would like to share:
Yesterday at work, this lady told me her pin- normally I would just swipe a customer's card and select their account type. But no this lady made me do everything. Pin code too!
I was very tempted (aahhah not to steal it) but to inform her on bank security.
This is kind of how it went. I was eating, well staring at the salmon on my plate and listing in my head the pros and cons of ring bound books- when my thoughts kind of strayed from this two week- ring bound vs. Binder- battle, to the importance of being mentally ready for next term’s challenges.
The significance of year 12 has obviously registered (long ago and now more than ever), and whilst I was sitting beneath the basketball ring outside and reading The Fellowship Of The Ring it became apparent to me that I have already attained the required mindset. At least I think so.
So okay, at the table my thoughts were immediately disrupted by my dad’s abrupt mentioning of the word ‘boyfriend’. It just caught me off guard, because this word- foreign as it is to me, was coincidentally in my head. I never thought it necessary to have one and I was thinking that what if during the year I got distracted and strayed from the neat path I have laid out for myself (A 12 something years of hard labour. Hahaha not really It wasn’t very hard at all ) and ruined everything.
I had this year went through many odd phases of wishing I had someone. As you do as a sixteen year old (proof that I am in fact a juvenile, not some mature 40 year old stuck in the netherworld-esque body of a 16 year old)
So yes, I was making sure that the no boyfriend rule is still there, somewhere floating in my head.
And yeah my dad mentioned it. I didn’t say anything but I couldn’t help but laugh. I was near laughter for many reasons.
1.I am often underestimated. My dad thinks that my priorities aren’t very clear, when they are in fact very clear to me.
2.They often over estimate my ability to actually acquire an aforementioned boyfriend. No one has ever asked me out, and my dad finds this rather odd and fancies this as a lie.
3.When my dad conjured this topic of conversation he was looking directly at me, my little sister was giggling and my mum conspicuously said ‘why are you only looking at Beverly’. And then she smiled. This exchange made me smile, because I have this odd feeling my little sister thinks she’s on to something.
I’m bored now. Can not continue.
Okay so I shall now do my extension 2 pre-proposal, begin research on trench warfare, but really go to Office Works and purchase books. Still undecided. The battle lives.
Here's an odd little this I would like to share:
Yesterday at work, this lady told me her pin- normally I would just swipe a customer's card and select their account type. But no this lady made me do everything. Pin code too!
I was very tempted (aahhah not to steal it) but to inform her on bank security.
exempli gratia
I’ve been reading before bed and lately Bilbo Baggins has been in many of them.
I think it’s a bit odd, because fast paced books are a tad more adhesive, i.e. (id est) Maximum Ride. I quite like Lord of the Rings, maybe one day I’ll watch the movies- but my attention span is quite short. I tried watching Angel and Demons but I got distracted mid way, my big sister sat on my bed and tried to make me beat her high score on Scramble. I of course did -her 23 to my 40. This resulted in a newfound addiction; she watched me play for a bit and later asked ‘what about your movie?’ I then without hesitation proceeded to turn off the ps3
Also when I came home from work I attempted to watch Ghost of Girlfriend’s Past with my big brother and little sister. I don’t really like movies about semi-old people and their quests about finding true love. It irks me. Actually, it just doesn’t appeal to me. So I tried to watch Angels and Demons but as aforementioned I failed in my pursuit to alleviate boredom.
Wow this has been one dismal lacklustre recount.
I think it’s a bit odd, because fast paced books are a tad more adhesive, i.e. (id est) Maximum Ride. I quite like Lord of the Rings, maybe one day I’ll watch the movies- but my attention span is quite short. I tried watching Angel and Demons but I got distracted mid way, my big sister sat on my bed and tried to make me beat her high score on Scramble. I of course did -her 23 to my 40. This resulted in a newfound addiction; she watched me play for a bit and later asked ‘what about your movie?’ I then without hesitation proceeded to turn off the ps3
Also when I came home from work I attempted to watch Ghost of Girlfriend’s Past with my big brother and little sister. I don’t really like movies about semi-old people and their quests about finding true love. It irks me. Actually, it just doesn’t appeal to me. So I tried to watch Angels and Demons but as aforementioned I failed in my pursuit to alleviate boredom.
Wow this has been one dismal lacklustre recount.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Holistic Sense of Interest Would Garner More Followers
So I'm thinking maybe I could create a new blog that would be solely dedicated to people who are looking for great music to listen to. I'd obviously post reviews, make lists of songs that would fit a certain theme which could (fingers crossed) then eventually manifest itself in the form of physical mix tapes.
I’m flattering myself with the idea that the music I listen to is legitimate. I like indie music, and incidentally alternative and rock. I also love music created by artists of the past few decades- that I believe are today underappreciated by society, albeit those individuals that fit into the +40 age bracket and indie hipsters evidently. I’m sorry but I love Richard Hawley, Al Green, The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel….
I just love it. I don’t know a great deal about their histories, drug habits, love interests…but I know which songs fit into which albums and that I love the quality of the records made- which are coincidentally unparalleled in greatness.
Then thing I love about Indie is that the artists are not purely entertainers. I love the genius lyrics of Ben Gibbard, the funky sounds of Regina Spektor and the fun that constitutes as the criteria for ‘how to make a song’ by The Grates.
I like Ida Maria too. The Postal Service. I could go on really and so I guess this post is really my subconscious typing and enticing me to the idea that popped into my head. It’s not original but I could put my own spin to it and I am kind of tired of writing about myself. I’ll move on to some kind of personal journal at least that way I’ll have some physical record of my existence- that will not be erased if Google decides to die and transcend into the realm of failed search engine heaven. (Say hi to Ask Jeeves for me)
Anyways now I'm thinking this idea won't garner many followers but I guess that's not the point. People who are into this music are kind of reluctant with recommendations- I am a testament to this. People generally kind of like to hunt down bands themselves and thus by doing so owe no one credit for finding great bands. Also It could just be a thing for friends/ school people.
I don't know really.
Anyways I'm going to bed.
I’m flattering myself with the idea that the music I listen to is legitimate. I like indie music, and incidentally alternative and rock. I also love music created by artists of the past few decades- that I believe are today underappreciated by society, albeit those individuals that fit into the +40 age bracket and indie hipsters evidently. I’m sorry but I love Richard Hawley, Al Green, The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel….
I just love it. I don’t know a great deal about their histories, drug habits, love interests…but I know which songs fit into which albums and that I love the quality of the records made- which are coincidentally unparalleled in greatness.
Then thing I love about Indie is that the artists are not purely entertainers. I love the genius lyrics of Ben Gibbard, the funky sounds of Regina Spektor and the fun that constitutes as the criteria for ‘how to make a song’ by The Grates.
I like Ida Maria too. The Postal Service. I could go on really and so I guess this post is really my subconscious typing and enticing me to the idea that popped into my head. It’s not original but I could put my own spin to it and I am kind of tired of writing about myself. I’ll move on to some kind of personal journal at least that way I’ll have some physical record of my existence- that will not be erased if Google decides to die and transcend into the realm of failed search engine heaven. (Say hi to Ask Jeeves for me)
Anyways now I'm thinking this idea won't garner many followers but I guess that's not the point. People who are into this music are kind of reluctant with recommendations- I am a testament to this. People generally kind of like to hunt down bands themselves and thus by doing so owe no one credit for finding great bands. Also It could just be a thing for friends/ school people.
I don't know really.
Anyways I'm going to bed.
Musings.
I’m a very critical kid. I critique myself all the time. I analyse things at a molecular level.
I try to be politically correct, polite and mature- most of the time at least. This is my way of looking at myself in the mirror. But yeah, I guess it’s more like looking at myself under a microscope. I really don’t like it, and I’m sorry if this adheres to some kind of perfectionist complex. But I’m trying to get to a point.
So anyways I go through phases of making sure my hair is perfectly straightened. This pernickety obsession reached new heights when I decided to cut my hair one length. I always try to be organised and neat. But then I go through phases where I am apathetic-I’m late for the bus, I don’t bother with my hair, I don’t bring all my books to school and I’m basically unapologetically lazy.
So naturally during the school holidays, I self reflect. This self reflection isn’t something narcissistic; at least I don’t think so. School holidays provide the time to actually look back and think even more critically of myself. But most of the time I don’t, I get over trying to be someone different and instead I focus on various creative projects (writing, studying, making collages, painting). The truth is: I hate being critical, because this evidently leads to depression and low self esteem. I am clearly not a very confident person, though I can be at certain times. Confidence is something I’m working on, but I feel that I will first need to settle a game of tug o war.
This game exists in my head and is resurrected during the school holidays. During this time it is more than alive (it smiles exuberantly-dimples showing) and the battle instead becomes a ferocious game of survival.
There is a side of me that longs for change. The spokesperson of this side (which bears a striking resemblance to a satanic creature featured against a backdrop akin to some kind of netherworld) claims that I am very capable of being classy. It begs for shopping opportunities, new hair styles and basically a sense conformity that would bear well with the ‘in’ crowd and would garner more advice/fashion tips from friends.
The other side likes comfort and individualism. This is the side that is effortless in it’s quest for dominance. This is the true me, the klutz, the kid who doesn’t try hard to dress up or look good, because she feels that it is overrated.
Anyways this battle is aggravated by spectators, who have a kind of dark magic that would prevail against Tinkerbelle’s fairy dust any day, It’s called ‘influence’- and this basically keeps the game going, the dice rolling (cliche's are endless my friend) and makes sure the tug on the ‘underdog’ end is much stronger. Hence I am plagued by thoughts of trying to change. Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes and fashion but most of the time I am compelled to visit bookstores and instead of reading teen vogue I’d read classics or science fiction. These are my interests, things that you could never take away from me.
So yes, this is probably some reversed coming of age story, but this is what is troubling me. It may seem superficial but I cannot for the life of me let go. There are certainly times where I am adamant on being static and other times that I just jump around and stay in the air wishing I was different and people didn’t see me as ‘innocent’ or ‘cute’. It’s sad really. This is all really sad.
But I am going to find a middle ground. And I’m pretty sure I can.
I try to be politically correct, polite and mature- most of the time at least. This is my way of looking at myself in the mirror. But yeah, I guess it’s more like looking at myself under a microscope. I really don’t like it, and I’m sorry if this adheres to some kind of perfectionist complex. But I’m trying to get to a point.
So anyways I go through phases of making sure my hair is perfectly straightened. This pernickety obsession reached new heights when I decided to cut my hair one length. I always try to be organised and neat. But then I go through phases where I am apathetic-I’m late for the bus, I don’t bother with my hair, I don’t bring all my books to school and I’m basically unapologetically lazy.
So naturally during the school holidays, I self reflect. This self reflection isn’t something narcissistic; at least I don’t think so. School holidays provide the time to actually look back and think even more critically of myself. But most of the time I don’t, I get over trying to be someone different and instead I focus on various creative projects (writing, studying, making collages, painting). The truth is: I hate being critical, because this evidently leads to depression and low self esteem. I am clearly not a very confident person, though I can be at certain times. Confidence is something I’m working on, but I feel that I will first need to settle a game of tug o war.
This game exists in my head and is resurrected during the school holidays. During this time it is more than alive (it smiles exuberantly-dimples showing) and the battle instead becomes a ferocious game of survival.
There is a side of me that longs for change. The spokesperson of this side (which bears a striking resemblance to a satanic creature featured against a backdrop akin to some kind of netherworld) claims that I am very capable of being classy. It begs for shopping opportunities, new hair styles and basically a sense conformity that would bear well with the ‘in’ crowd and would garner more advice/fashion tips from friends.
The other side likes comfort and individualism. This is the side that is effortless in it’s quest for dominance. This is the true me, the klutz, the kid who doesn’t try hard to dress up or look good, because she feels that it is overrated.
Anyways this battle is aggravated by spectators, who have a kind of dark magic that would prevail against Tinkerbelle’s fairy dust any day, It’s called ‘influence’- and this basically keeps the game going, the dice rolling (cliche's are endless my friend) and makes sure the tug on the ‘underdog’ end is much stronger. Hence I am plagued by thoughts of trying to change. Don’t get me wrong, I love clothes and fashion but most of the time I am compelled to visit bookstores and instead of reading teen vogue I’d read classics or science fiction. These are my interests, things that you could never take away from me.
So yes, this is probably some reversed coming of age story, but this is what is troubling me. It may seem superficial but I cannot for the life of me let go. There are certainly times where I am adamant on being static and other times that I just jump around and stay in the air wishing I was different and people didn’t see me as ‘innocent’ or ‘cute’. It’s sad really. This is all really sad.
But I am going to find a middle ground. And I’m pretty sure I can.
Monday, October 12, 2009
New Again
I feel this will be long.
I'm listening to For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her- Simon & Garfunkel
Dance Anthem Of The 80's- Regina Spektor
We Can Work It Out- The Beatles
I finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife & now I feel like reading Her Fearful Symmetry
Review
Okay, so this isn't going to be very critical.
First and foremost I loved the novel. Audrey Niffenegger is a great writer.
The major themes of the novel are loss, identity & love, which are explored originally though Niffenegger's incorporation of a science-fiction element and distinct characters, (albeit Gomez. I didn’t like him very much.) in a non linear narrative. Much of it was discontinuous, I think. Ha very post modern.
However more importantly the novel is structured so that the we are given insight into the perspectives of the two protagonists, Henry and Clare. This structure makes evident the dichotomy between men and women, in particular the differences in the way we cope with loss and love.
There were a lot allusion to music and literature. (Stuff I knew, Stuff I didn't know, I love learning!)Also the conversations that occurred between Henry and Clare were intellectual and witty. I liked how through a conversation at the Meadow, Neffenegger was able to explore the the concepts of Determinism and Chaos. These concepts manifested itself within Henry (He's a firm believer in a universe that is not Deterministic)and Clare- who was ambivalent on her take.
However, most of the surprises and the things that were meant to draw us in, in the novel became antitheses to the actual element of surprise. This is because Henry DeTamble could time travel and hence he knew what was going to happen in the future, so often he’d communicate what he knew to others.
He'd tell Clare or Charisse what would happen in the future, this would often be portrayed as a reluctant exchange. But despite that, the whole revealing the future thing- spoiled the ending.
And the thing I disliked most about the novel was the fact that I felt it dragged on for far too long. I told my big sister it reminded me of Twilight and she agreed but she said ‘the writing is much better’
And I couldn’t agree more.
I said it reminded me of Twlight (namely New Moon) because of the whole ‘waiting for boy to come back-crying/being sad because boy isn’t home-happy/sex when boy is back’ feel to it.
I don’t know, it just pains me to see women portrayed so helplessly without men. But I guess I could say for sure that the relationship between Henry & Clare (though fictitious all together) is much more genuine.
Other Things
• I finished watching Stardust. Neil Gaiman is brilliant. I want to read all of his works now! (Why did I not pick Stardust up when I saw it at Kinokunya?!)
• I do not feel like reading Junk- Melvin Burgess, The Mediator- Meg Cabot (I’ve had this book for ages now- I just feel that the writing is so juvenile)
• Other things I must read – LOTR series (It’s impossible to read without becoming antisocial- so I won’t be available all next week), The Big Sleep- Raymond Chandler, Anna Karenina- Leo Tolstoy
• There are so many other novels that are in my bookshelf that I haven’t read & there is honestly no time to read it
• I did however finish Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist- In one night may I add (I loved it !)
• My sleeping pattern is screwed up so there’s not point sleeping right now.( I’ve converted to noctournalism and sociopathism) –Veganism can wait
• My immune system is being bitch. I’m sick (thanks phagocytes and lysosomes- I know you’re working hard) It’s like I have this constant headache & I can’t get a restraining order or a divorce because it is so deeply in love with my uncanny sleeping pattern
It's 2 am. No sleep for me.
I'm listening to For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her- Simon & Garfunkel
Dance Anthem Of The 80's- Regina Spektor
We Can Work It Out- The Beatles
I finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife & now I feel like reading Her Fearful Symmetry
Review
Okay, so this isn't going to be very critical.
First and foremost I loved the novel. Audrey Niffenegger is a great writer.
The major themes of the novel are loss, identity & love, which are explored originally though Niffenegger's incorporation of a science-fiction element and distinct characters, (albeit Gomez. I didn’t like him very much.) in a non linear narrative. Much of it was discontinuous, I think. Ha very post modern.
However more importantly the novel is structured so that the we are given insight into the perspectives of the two protagonists, Henry and Clare. This structure makes evident the dichotomy between men and women, in particular the differences in the way we cope with loss and love.
There were a lot allusion to music and literature. (Stuff I knew, Stuff I didn't know, I love learning!)Also the conversations that occurred between Henry and Clare were intellectual and witty. I liked how through a conversation at the Meadow, Neffenegger was able to explore the the concepts of Determinism and Chaos. These concepts manifested itself within Henry (He's a firm believer in a universe that is not Deterministic)and Clare- who was ambivalent on her take.
However, most of the surprises and the things that were meant to draw us in, in the novel became antitheses to the actual element of surprise. This is because Henry DeTamble could time travel and hence he knew what was going to happen in the future, so often he’d communicate what he knew to others.
He'd tell Clare or Charisse what would happen in the future, this would often be portrayed as a reluctant exchange. But despite that, the whole revealing the future thing- spoiled the ending.
And the thing I disliked most about the novel was the fact that I felt it dragged on for far too long. I told my big sister it reminded me of Twilight and she agreed but she said ‘the writing is much better’
And I couldn’t agree more.
I said it reminded me of Twlight (namely New Moon) because of the whole ‘waiting for boy to come back-crying/being sad because boy isn’t home-happy/sex when boy is back’ feel to it.
I don’t know, it just pains me to see women portrayed so helplessly without men. But I guess I could say for sure that the relationship between Henry & Clare (though fictitious all together) is much more genuine.
Other Things
• I finished watching Stardust. Neil Gaiman is brilliant. I want to read all of his works now! (Why did I not pick Stardust up when I saw it at Kinokunya?!)
• I do not feel like reading Junk- Melvin Burgess, The Mediator- Meg Cabot (I’ve had this book for ages now- I just feel that the writing is so juvenile)
• Other things I must read – LOTR series (It’s impossible to read without becoming antisocial- so I won’t be available all next week), The Big Sleep- Raymond Chandler, Anna Karenina- Leo Tolstoy
• There are so many other novels that are in my bookshelf that I haven’t read & there is honestly no time to read it
• I did however finish Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist- In one night may I add (I loved it !)
• My sleeping pattern is screwed up so there’s not point sleeping right now.( I’ve converted to noctournalism and sociopathism) –Veganism can wait
• My immune system is being bitch. I’m sick (thanks phagocytes and lysosomes- I know you’re working hard) It’s like I have this constant headache & I can’t get a restraining order or a divorce because it is so deeply in love with my uncanny sleeping pattern
It's 2 am. No sleep for me.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The rock pool is the color of an altered blue, it contains tinges of green, the moss, and patches of blue, the sky's reflection.
I bathe in it and the colors cling to the fabric of my clothes.I am not soaked; my clothes remain dry.
Then people come along.
They test the water, dip their toes in; think, speculate and then conclude.
Some people dip two feet in and decide the temperature isn't right.
They walk away with waterlogged feet.
At least they are changed, I think to myself.
I am not quite unlike Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid.
I don't want to have the ice freeze over me and not feel a thing.
I guess a splash is what I'm waiting for.
The rock pool is a niche
A bubble that never pops.
I bathe in it and the colors cling to the fabric of my clothes.I am not soaked; my clothes remain dry.
Then people come along.
They test the water, dip their toes in; think, speculate and then conclude.
Some people dip two feet in and decide the temperature isn't right.
They walk away with waterlogged feet.
At least they are changed, I think to myself.
I am not quite unlike Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid.
I don't want to have the ice freeze over me and not feel a thing.
I guess a splash is what I'm waiting for.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
I think he's growing on me.
So I was at work 2 hours early, in my black sweater, faded blue jean & blue vans. My dad didn't want me to catch the bus, so 11am was the only time he could drop me.
I was carrying my Borders bag which had all my work clothes in it, so first I dropped it off at work.
All that information was rather irrelevant. Haha.
Anyways
I walked around the mall, went to check out the books.
I found all the Harry Potter Comic Relief books! I smiled.
Then I found Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. And I basically jumped up and down, because most bookstores don't stock it.
I didn't know I had money in my bank account, so I hid the book behind the Alchemist (there was only one copy left), promising I'd buy it when my brother picked me up from work.
I checked out my Elmo Baby Wipes, I bought them because I thought they were cute.
Then dumb little me realised she had plenty of moolah in her bank.
So I ran back for the book and bought it.
Then I just sat down outside where the sun was (It was freezing), in my favorite spot. I just sat, read and drank strawberry kiwi vitamin water. Bliss
Victoria was jealous, she loves pink.I survived on two vitamin waters during the day.
When I was waiting for my brother, I had fresh cinnamon donuts with PK.
This bespectacled 15 year old was smoking. He was such a liar.
He told his little kid brother to take the dog for a lap oustide the mall, he pointed left, which was heaps far away.
Then next thing you know he's lighting a cigarette.
Wait maybe he wasn't lying, because he didn't say "Hey I'm not going to light a cigarette"
I just find it weird that little kids smoke.
I mean it's like cutting yourself.
Just because you're not bleeding doesn't mean the smoke isn't killing you.
Curse the person who invited cigarettes.
I mean Nobel invented dynamite, but he tried to counteract the negatives of his invention by inventing the peace prize award.
Why can't he unpatent his thing and make it so no one can ever create it again. That's asking for too much.
BLAH
Anyways about that dynamite thing it reminds me of my childhood :)
hahaha
I got random factoids from those Worldcraft and encyclopedias we had. And those home tutor videos.
Long division FTW!
So useless though
Hahaha I get off track
Damn
I was carrying my Borders bag which had all my work clothes in it, so first I dropped it off at work.
All that information was rather irrelevant. Haha.
Anyways
I walked around the mall, went to check out the books.
I found all the Harry Potter Comic Relief books! I smiled.
Then I found Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. And I basically jumped up and down, because most bookstores don't stock it.
I didn't know I had money in my bank account, so I hid the book behind the Alchemist (there was only one copy left), promising I'd buy it when my brother picked me up from work.
I checked out my Elmo Baby Wipes, I bought them because I thought they were cute.
Then dumb little me realised she had plenty of moolah in her bank.
So I ran back for the book and bought it.
Then I just sat down outside where the sun was (It was freezing), in my favorite spot. I just sat, read and drank strawberry kiwi vitamin water. Bliss
Victoria was jealous, she loves pink.I survived on two vitamin waters during the day.
When I was waiting for my brother, I had fresh cinnamon donuts with PK.
This bespectacled 15 year old was smoking. He was such a liar.
He told his little kid brother to take the dog for a lap oustide the mall, he pointed left, which was heaps far away.
Then next thing you know he's lighting a cigarette.
Wait maybe he wasn't lying, because he didn't say "Hey I'm not going to light a cigarette"
I just find it weird that little kids smoke.
I mean it's like cutting yourself.
Just because you're not bleeding doesn't mean the smoke isn't killing you.
Curse the person who invited cigarettes.
I mean Nobel invented dynamite, but he tried to counteract the negatives of his invention by inventing the peace prize award.
Why can't he unpatent his thing and make it so no one can ever create it again. That's asking for too much.
BLAH
Anyways about that dynamite thing it reminds me of my childhood :)
hahaha
I got random factoids from those Worldcraft and encyclopedias we had. And those home tutor videos.
Long division FTW!
So useless though
Hahaha I get off track
Damn
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
When all you wanted was to be wanted. Wish you could tell yourself what you know now
Things have been swell.
My life has been swell of late.
Semi-swell, I guess
I might start my extension homework later & year 12 math.
Reading The Time Traveler's Wife.
Henry DeTamble eeek.
I had this dream I was Henry and I time traveled to the Galapagos Islands.There was a lion that moved in slow motion.
I don't know I'm weird, my dreams always involve lions.
I'm being chased by a lion.
My dog is upstairs and there's a lion & I have to rescue her from the lion
lionlionlionlionlionlionlionlionlionlionlion
rawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawr
Must be symptoms of a horrible immagination.
Lion infested mind.
I should write a book about lions. Dream Lion, Dream!
I have an idea for my ext 2 eng proposal :)
No it's not about lions!
Let's Make This Moment A Crime- The Format.
This. Here And Now. With You- The Cure
Promise I'm better & I'm fine.
No more weird blog posts, till forever.
<3
My life has been swell of late.
Semi-swell, I guess
I might start my extension homework later & year 12 math.
Reading The Time Traveler's Wife.
Henry DeTamble eeek.
I had this dream I was Henry and I time traveled to the Galapagos Islands.There was a lion that moved in slow motion.
I don't know I'm weird, my dreams always involve lions.
I'm being chased by a lion.
My dog is upstairs and there's a lion & I have to rescue her from the lion
lionlionlionlionlionlionlionlionlionlionlion
rawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawrrawr
Must be symptoms of a horrible immagination.
Lion infested mind.
I should write a book about lions. Dream Lion, Dream!
I have an idea for my ext 2 eng proposal :)
No it's not about lions!
Let's Make This Moment A Crime- The Format.
This. Here And Now. With You- The Cure
Promise I'm better & I'm fine.
No more weird blog posts, till forever.
<3
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Rainy
Highlights of work
Ben: Hurry up Rob
Rob: Wait, I'm looking for the mashies!
Ben: You're not LOOKING for the mashies, you're EATING the mashies.
Five minutes later. Rob is singing along to Forever Young- Youth Group.
Rob: Do you really want to live forever?.....(dramatic singing)
Ben: Fuck it, hurry at this rate you're not going to live for much longer
Ahhh and then Bonnie and I were just standing around talking. Ben finds us and he tells one of us to get the broom and sweep around. Bonnie and I just look at each other. Ben realises.
10 seconds later Robert is found doing all the dirty work.
Ahh gotta love that kid.
Then during close, Danielle was contemplating on asking Rob out to our little gathering on Tuesday.
When she finally mustured the courage to ask him.
HE THOUGHT HE WAS GETTING ASKED OUT. LMFAO.
Danielle was blushing.
This is kind of how it went.
Danielle: Hey so Rob
Rob puts down his box
Rob: Yeah Danielle?
His eye brows are raised and he's feeling very suave.
Danielle: Err, so you doing anything on tuesday?
Ben sees Rob.
Ben: ROB DO YOUR WORK
Rob: SHUT UP BEN I'M GETTING ASKED OUT HERE
Danielle and I laughed so much.
Ben: Hurry up Rob
Rob: Wait, I'm looking for the mashies!
Ben: You're not LOOKING for the mashies, you're EATING the mashies.
Five minutes later. Rob is singing along to Forever Young- Youth Group.
Rob: Do you really want to live forever?.....(dramatic singing)
Ben: Fuck it, hurry at this rate you're not going to live for much longer
Ahhh and then Bonnie and I were just standing around talking. Ben finds us and he tells one of us to get the broom and sweep around. Bonnie and I just look at each other. Ben realises.
10 seconds later Robert is found doing all the dirty work.
Ahh gotta love that kid.
Then during close, Danielle was contemplating on asking Rob out to our little gathering on Tuesday.
When she finally mustured the courage to ask him.
HE THOUGHT HE WAS GETTING ASKED OUT. LMFAO.
Danielle was blushing.
This is kind of how it went.
Danielle: Hey so Rob
Rob puts down his box
Rob: Yeah Danielle?
His eye brows are raised and he's feeling very suave.
Danielle: Err, so you doing anything on tuesday?
Ben sees Rob.
Ben: ROB DO YOUR WORK
Rob: SHUT UP BEN I'M GETTING ASKED OUT HERE
Danielle and I laughed so much.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Perhaps I do like tulips and my eggs sunny side up
It looks like it'll rain today, but it doesn't bother me.
Last night it was raining, and I could hear the rain fall on the gutter. Each individual droplet went tap tap tap. And then sometimes I could hear the heavy downpour, there were intervals of drizzle and then hurricane-esque weather (I am exaggerating
It was really soothing, and it was perfect for reading. So I stopped watching 30 Rock, even though I could not stop laughing.
So I was reading The Time Traveler's Wife because I hadn't read it before. And the book mark, which was a docket of some sort told me I had stopped reading around the month of April on a page not too far from the start. I feel like this book will make me cry, it's a love story that kind of provokes within an ominous nostalgia. It doesn't belong to you, but it feels universal.
I guess we all have those moments and feel how Henry feels when he's immersed in the blue of the papilio ulysses.
Help I'm Alive- Metric.
Come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train.
Last night it was raining, and I could hear the rain fall on the gutter. Each individual droplet went tap tap tap. And then sometimes I could hear the heavy downpour, there were intervals of drizzle and then hurricane-esque weather (I am exaggerating
It was really soothing, and it was perfect for reading. So I stopped watching 30 Rock, even though I could not stop laughing.
So I was reading The Time Traveler's Wife because I hadn't read it before. And the book mark, which was a docket of some sort told me I had stopped reading around the month of April on a page not too far from the start. I feel like this book will make me cry, it's a love story that kind of provokes within an ominous nostalgia. It doesn't belong to you, but it feels universal.
I guess we all have those moments and feel how Henry feels when he's immersed in the blue of the papilio ulysses.
Help I'm Alive- Metric.
Come take my pulse, the pace is on a runaway train.
Friday, October 2, 2009
This is how it is for me.
So there's this kid, right. He enters the bus and shakes your hand.
You think it odd, you think it classic.
He then sits on the vacant seat adjacent to you. He smiles, not a crooked smile, just a smile.
You've never ever seen him in your whole life.
He sings you a song you've never heard before.
You think it funny.
You think you're in love.
But all the other kids on the bus, think he's a mess. A hot mess.
So the next day, you're sitting at the back of the bus.
You know he's the new kid, you've been acquainted with his attitude and his idiosyncrasies.
It's only been a day, so you're thinking maybe those black jeans will fade & he'll conveniently slip into a pair of something, anything more fitting.
You're into neat kind of guys. The one's that are always reading. The one's that wear glasses, bespectacled eyes that make you melt. Anyways you're the weird kid, don't questions this,
And right now you're thinking he will change
But he doesn't see you that day. He sees someone else, shakes her hand, smiles at her, sings her a song she does not know.
You think it strange.
You cry.
Later your big sister tells you, you're much much prettier and much much more intelligent.
& Later you realise he wasn't that different at all. And you're still the same....still waiting for someone to notice.
But remember:
You're the kind of kid that romanticizes the idea of being in a relationship.
Late night phone calls
mix tapes
driving till you feel like you're infinitely bound to no one else but him.
& he's the kind of guy, that just isn't (wasn't) in to you.
I said that kind of honesty exists only in the movies, and you've got to give people time.
But that isn't the truth.
It's uncertainty, hurdles in the form of uncertainty.
So please
please
please
do me favour and admit that you are just a passing fashion
& you're crossing the threshold right now & not because I told you to
but because you're certain that you're uncertain.
Maybe then when you're suspended in that state of confusion,
I'll admit to you
that
I
don't
really
want
you
to
leave
me.
You think it odd, you think it classic.
He then sits on the vacant seat adjacent to you. He smiles, not a crooked smile, just a smile.
You've never ever seen him in your whole life.
He sings you a song you've never heard before.
You think it funny.
You think you're in love.
But all the other kids on the bus, think he's a mess. A hot mess.
So the next day, you're sitting at the back of the bus.
You know he's the new kid, you've been acquainted with his attitude and his idiosyncrasies.
It's only been a day, so you're thinking maybe those black jeans will fade & he'll conveniently slip into a pair of something, anything more fitting.
You're into neat kind of guys. The one's that are always reading. The one's that wear glasses, bespectacled eyes that make you melt. Anyways you're the weird kid, don't questions this,
And right now you're thinking he will change
But he doesn't see you that day. He sees someone else, shakes her hand, smiles at her, sings her a song she does not know.
You think it strange.
You cry.
Later your big sister tells you, you're much much prettier and much much more intelligent.
& Later you realise he wasn't that different at all. And you're still the same....still waiting for someone to notice.
But remember:
You're the kind of kid that romanticizes the idea of being in a relationship.
Late night phone calls
mix tapes
driving till you feel like you're infinitely bound to no one else but him.
& he's the kind of guy, that just isn't (wasn't) in to you.
I said that kind of honesty exists only in the movies, and you've got to give people time.
But that isn't the truth.
It's uncertainty, hurdles in the form of uncertainty.
So please
please
please
do me favour and admit that you are just a passing fashion
& you're crossing the threshold right now & not because I told you to
but because you're certain that you're uncertain.
Maybe then when you're suspended in that state of confusion,
I'll admit to you
that
I
don't
really
want
you
to
leave
me.
Snogging.
hahaha i love British films because i get drawn in by their 'accents'. Alicia came over today.
We watched Get Smart- because no matter how many times I watch it I always manage to laugh at the funny bits- which is pretty much the entire running time. And we also watched Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging, I warned Alicia it was retarded. But she still wanted to see it.
We swooned every time Aaron Johnson appeared and cringed at the desperate things Georgia did. Oh funny funny. I don't blame her though. He's like jfyutryrrjd.
Gah, I shouldn't do that.
I really shouldn't
I won't do it.
Hahaha at least not boys that exist within the realm of reality. I've reached new levels of stupidity lately, but it's taught me a lot.
All I can do is make what John Green said, stick to my brain "What a treacherous thing to believe, that a person is more than a person" It's probably wrong, i'm not very spot on with my quotes, unless it's Napoleon or Claudia Black. Hahaha
But yes. Never go thinking someone is perfect.
Anywho.....
I have Sheena Is A Punk Rocker in my head. It's stabbing at my head, and i will give in and play the song after i finish blogging. Damn, I'd also have to call work and see what time I'm working. I've been putting it off, and I'm thinking the two miss calls I've just received are from work.
My life has been pretty boring of late.
I try to make towers out of my favorite books. And the fact that I actually took pictures proves that I was extremely bored.
It's just a small stack of books, If i had put more it would have toppled over.
I guess the next challenge it to make one big entire tower.
btw, i am anti twlight. The excessive pages in the book came in handy for making this tower.
We watched Get Smart- because no matter how many times I watch it I always manage to laugh at the funny bits- which is pretty much the entire running time. And we also watched Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging, I warned Alicia it was retarded. But she still wanted to see it.
We swooned every time Aaron Johnson appeared and cringed at the desperate things Georgia did. Oh funny funny. I don't blame her though. He's like jfyutryrrjd.
Gah, I shouldn't do that.
I really shouldn't
I won't do it.
Hahaha at least not boys that exist within the realm of reality. I've reached new levels of stupidity lately, but it's taught me a lot.
All I can do is make what John Green said, stick to my brain "What a treacherous thing to believe, that a person is more than a person" It's probably wrong, i'm not very spot on with my quotes, unless it's Napoleon or Claudia Black. Hahaha
But yes. Never go thinking someone is perfect.
Anywho.....
I have Sheena Is A Punk Rocker in my head. It's stabbing at my head, and i will give in and play the song after i finish blogging. Damn, I'd also have to call work and see what time I'm working. I've been putting it off, and I'm thinking the two miss calls I've just received are from work.
My life has been pretty boring of late.
I try to make towers out of my favorite books. And the fact that I actually took pictures proves that I was extremely bored.
It's just a small stack of books, If i had put more it would have toppled over.
I guess the next challenge it to make one big entire tower.
btw, i am anti twlight. The excessive pages in the book came in handy for making this tower.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
My Bestfriend
beverly no rhymes really. Just truth. says:
lol
i still haven't eaten my dinner
- alicia has a reason to believe <3 says:
WELL EAT IT BIATCH
I JOLE
I JOLE
UR NOT A BIATCH
UR A DINOSAUR
RAAWRRR
beverly no rhymes really. Just truth. says:
you're a moth
i'm the light
ZAPPPP
you're on the floor fluttering your little wings
hahaha i rendered you flightless
- alicia has a reason to believe <3 says:
U WANT ME TO DIE?
beverly no rhymes really. Just truth. says:
ahah no just incapable of flight
lol
i still haven't eaten my dinner
- alicia has a reason to believe <3 says:
WELL EAT IT BIATCH
I JOLE
I JOLE
UR NOT A BIATCH
UR A DINOSAUR
RAAWRRR
beverly no rhymes really. Just truth. says:
you're a moth
i'm the light
ZAPPPP
you're on the floor fluttering your little wings
hahaha i rendered you flightless
- alicia has a reason to believe <3 says:
U WANT ME TO DIE?
beverly no rhymes really. Just truth. says:
ahah no just incapable of flight
I Just can't figure it out.
Dear Kimya Dawson,
how
dare
you
create
a
song
with lyrics
that speak of qualities
that do not pertain or adhere,
to anyone
how
dare
you
create
a
song
with lyrics
that speak of qualities
that do not pertain or adhere,
to anyone
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